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Covert Mission Possible II
by Special Correspondent, Big Daddy

DURHAM, NC -- The 2006 MBA Rugby World Championships held at Duke University will forever be remembered as the year the squad from McGill traveled with 12 young men and won a mug to defy the laws of physics. Some say that the alignment of the planets played a major role in this event. Less known however, was the secret covert mission that began six years prior to capture the ever so elusive "prize".

Eye witnesses recount a time when the "prize" was actually captured years ago for a brief period of time and was in McGill possession until the transporting vehicle was rushed by the "prize's" owners and reclaimed with minimal opposition. Details of the capture are sketchy at best, but until recently, that was the closest that McGill had ever been to the "prize".

Subsequent to this first failed attempt, the "prize" was virtually impossible to capture. McGill elders recall severe security surrounding the "prize", ranging from decoy "prizes" traveling via multiple routes to the tournament, to professional security personnel hired to protect the "prize" in revolving shifts 24 hours per day. Again, details are vague at best, but one thing was for certain, members of the McGill team couldn't even look at the "prize" without sounding alarms since recollections of the previous capture attempt were engrained in their memories. Security forces were strong for years to come.

The years went on and although no further formal attempts to capture the ever so elusive "prize" were made, thoughts of acquiring it never dissipated. This proved to be just the tactic that McGill needed, even though unintentional. Security surrounding the "prize" dwindled and memories of previous capture attempts were almost all forgotten and history was about to be repeated.

In April 2006, on the day after their arrival in North Carolina, the severely hungover members of the McGill MBA rugby team set out to kick off the tour by conjugating on the bus to distribute what is to become a new tour tradition - Challenges. Previously that day, Big Daddy, like many others, wrote his challenge on a small piece of paper and surrendered it to the Gorgeous Trio. On it, he unforeseeably wrote: Capture the "Prize". A young unsuspecting yet beautiful French girl on the women's team was the unfortunate recipient of this impossible challenge. Mind you, this young lady recently underwent a major surgical intervention that limited her abilities to walk let alone manage to succeed in this task. Big Daddy, a seasoned veteran on this tour, knew that it would be impossible to complete this challenge for he was present years ago when the "prize" was actually on the bus and he knows the difficulty surrounding acquisition of the "prize". Doubtful that this could be accomplished, he hoped that at best, she would have to pay a penalty at Fines Committee.

Big Daddy at his best in the bar!

So the gang headed out to the wild Duke clubs with their challenges in hand, which could only enhance the McGill MBA Rugby social reputation. The next night at Fines committee, the young French woman stood tall and proud on her one good remaining leg and called out Big Daddy and said: the "prize" and its hosts were not at the tournament this year.

Several other members of the team confirmed her findings. Embarrassed and shocked, he called upon his "rookie ho" to take his fine. Yet deep inside, he was saddened that the "prize" wasn't in attendance. It was like a small piece of tradition was dead, what are we to do this year? What else do we have to look forward to, he exclaimed. Saddened, he brushed it off and convinced himself to go out and have a good time. Upon arrival to the club that night, he ran into a petite Canadian nurse associated with the Ivey MBA rugby club whom he was conversing with all day during the tournament.

Witness reports indicated that he was standing at the back of the bar having a pleasant conversation with the Ivey hottie while suddenly in his peripheral vision he saw what seemed to be a small object resembling the "prize".

Could it be? He exclaimed to himself. Doubtful, he looked closer at the object. Totally stunned; there it was, virtually unprotected, just sitting there on the ledge. His jaw dropped. In disbelief, he looked again and there it was like a little child taunting him. Shocked, he looked around for a teammate. He was formulating a plan to acquire it! So many thoughts were rushing through his head. He was completely in over his head. He needed some collaborators and a foolproof plan immediately.

Having been so close many years ago, he didn't want to wait another 6 years for chance like this. Completely ignoring the young lady with whom he had no chance in hell with, he quickly gazed across the bar, when who does he spot? None other than the gimpy French girl who was charged with the task of acquiring the "prize" the previous night. "Great!" he sarcastically thought, "she can't even walk without limping…how is she going to make a run for it? Clearing his mind, he gestured to her, hoping to catch her attention clear across the 30 metre room as she was sitting on the ledge with her feet up on a chair.

Like a madman, Big Daddy gestured to her that the "prize" was in front of him. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. He gestured again, but this time a little more convincingly. Again, she shrugged her shoulders dumbfounded. His frustration grew; he attempted a third and final time. Alas! She finally comprehended. Like a bolt of lightening, the mission to re-capture the "prize" came to him! He gestured to her that he would quickly snatch the "prize" and toss it to her across the bar. Seconds later, the injured player had recruited several other team members and informed them of this idiotic plan. It was surely going to fail.

Looking across the bar, Big Daddy spotted several eyes gleaming at him with a look of doubt, not expecting him to actually pull this off. He now had an opportunity to acquire the ever so elusive "prize". His hands and palms began to sweat… pressure rose and he began to feel nervousness set in. At the time, tossing the "prize" to the young lady seemed like the perfect plan. It was however a VERY busy bar. The likelihood of the "prize" making it that far without being intercepted was very high. On the other hand, it WAS a busy bar - the likelihood of its owners running after it was minimal; by the time they would get there, the "prize" would easily be secured by the members on the other side of the bar. So there he stood palms all sweaty, a dozen or more eyes glaring at him, waiting for him to toss the "prize". Apparently, the next phase of the plan had already been put in place, runners were ready, decoys prepared and traps placed. It was as though this covert operation had been prepared and in place months ago.

So Big Daddy waited for the most opportune time when he could snatch the "prize" and set it free. As though a higher power was involved, he looked over and there it was; unprotected. Never before had the "prize" been left so vulnerable. He quickly reached down in what seemed to be a gesture carried out in slow motion and he grasped it in his hands. In his mind, Big Daddy was going to gently toss it to the limping girl who would set the next phase of the plan in motion. Adrenaline pumping through him, he catapulted it across the bar!!!! Eye witnesses recount a story of an unidentified flying object traveling just shy of the speed of light, bouncing off the wall of the bar and rebounding 10 feet away!

From here on in, details of the events of securing the "prize" are fuzzy. From what was recounted later, the "prize" bounced off the wall and landed in the hands of a McGill exchange student who, in shock, handed it to our most senior veteran who then secured it to the runner - none other than our president himself. Later, we came to find out that the president ran faster than ever before and hid the "prize" in an alley near a dumpster so he could return and further celebrate at the bar.

"Prize" being well treated on bus back to hotel.

That night, the McGill men and women played a game of diversion in confusing the owners of the "prize",convincing them that the men in blue sport jackets and red ties were in possession of the "prize" and ran away with it. Little did they know, the conspiracy had already been put in place. Later that night, after some late night snacking and amazing karaoke, the gang headed back to the bus on a high like never before. Stop the bus!!!! Our amazing and fearless president, in his state of mild stupor and excitement, forgot the "prize" in the alley! Finding his sea legs, he ran out and retrieved it. The ride back to the hotel proved to be more celebrated than all others. Songs filled the air like never before and numerous re-enactments of the capture took place on the bus.

The next day, still on an amazing high, the men and women played their way to the finals. Thanks to some unlikely assistance, the men defeated their opponents and won a mug while the women fell just shy of a win. Between games however, Big Daddy spotted a small pink object on the side line; could it be another unsuspecting prize to be claimed? "No!" He said to himself. "I have a final to prepare for". So he did, and the men secured the mug.

"Prize" 2 hangs out on the way home.

After celebrating their win, some of the boys were walking back towards the bus when Big Daddy spotted the furry object unattended on the side line. Once again, thoughts of acquiring a second "prize" stormed through his head. He quickly asked to borrow a sweatshirt from one the young ruggers. Old, out of shape, and with a few extra pounds, Big Daddy could not complete the task by himself. So he called on a rookie to help him carry-out this absurd plan. A tall lanky winger was recruiter by Big Daddy to engulf the furry beast in the sweatshirt and rush it onto the bus. After the awards ceremony, the team arrived onto the bus with more than just a mug to complete the celebration. Pictorial accounts show the McGill men and women taking amazing care of the "prizes".

Six years in the making and we finally secured our Holy Grail. Rumours have it that the "prizes" are now in a top secret location under the most high tech security known to man kind! Do you honestly think we would simply place these amazing acquisitions in plane site mounted on a mantel somewhere? Think again my friends… think again.

(All names have been withheld to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent.)

 
© McGill MBA RFC 2006